A Polar Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a gin and....
(Several minutes later) ..tonic please?"
The barman serves him and says,
"Sure, but why the large pause?"
Polar Bear says, "Don't know, I've always had them."
Large padded feet are covered with hair so that the bear can grip as it runs across the ice and snow.
Q: What did the polar bear cub say to its mother at mealtime?
A: "Aw, no! Not SEALS again!"
Q: What's a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw!
Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: "Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside - with a nice chewy center!"
Q: Why shouldn't you take a polar bear to the zoo?
A: Because they'd rather go to the movies.
Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist.
Q: What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A: "Sandwiches!"
Q: Why do polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because the seals laughed at them when they wore parkas!
Q: What's another reason polar bears have fur coats?
A: Because they would freeze in Hawaiian shirts!
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.
Q: What did the polar bear say to the tourist who left the tundra buggy?
A: "Why don't you just have a good scream and get it over with."
Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.
Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!
Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR?A:
It just presses the "paws" button.
Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Insist that it pay cash!
Q: What did the polar bear put on the sign when seals were very scarce?
A: "Tourists Welcome!"
Q: What's white, furry, rides a walrus, and knocks a ball around the ice?
A: A polo bear!
Q: What's white, furry, smokes cigars, and stays up all night playing cards?
A: A poker bear!
Q: What's white, furry, likes to dance, and wears short leather pants?
A: A polka bear!
Q: What are white, furry, and have wheels on their paws?
A: Roller bears!
Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are attacking you?
A: A bitemare!
Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A "brrr"-"grrr"!
Q: What did the polar bear say after a winter of feeding on seals?
A: "I think I'd like a salad!"
Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: "Meals on Wheels!"
Q: What do you call a big mean polar bear?
A: Don't call it anything - just RUN!
Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Call it anything you want - it can't hear you.
Q: Why are polar bears big and furry?
A: Because if they were small and smooth, they'd be aspirins.
Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it's in a "grizzly" mood.
Q: Why would polar bears be cheap to keep as pets?
A: They live on ice!
Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a mailbox?
A: You don't know? Well, I'm not asking you to post MY letters!
Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I'm not sure - but I wouldn't try smelling it!
Q: What's white, furry, and throws balls of ice at igloos?
A: A bowler bear!
Q: What's white, furry, wears sunglasses, and lazes in the sun all summer long?
A: A solar bear!
Q: Polar bear cubs are born wet, naked, and in an icy cave. Then what happens?
A: Things get worse!
Q: What is white and goes RRRRG! RRRRG!?
A: A polar bear walking backwards.
Q: Where do you find polar bears?
A: It depends on where you left them.
Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear place!
Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre!
An arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, "It's a miracle!" The polar bear opened one eye and said "Don't talk while I'm saying grace."
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